Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Monday, February 23, 2009

Humor funny pictures

confussed which book to get ?




she has lost her wedding ring, Helping hands are always available at this place


Oscar Funny pictures

The 81st Annual Academy Awards in Los angeles held at KODAK theatre on
24th Feb 2009 was a event of glamorous occasion in the Film industry .

Humor has be part of this Ceremony Here are some of the funny pictues




Sunday, February 22, 2009

funny joke : Technical support

Call to technical support:


Caller: Hi, our printer is not working.
Customer Service: What is wrong with it?
Caller: Mouse is jammed.
Customer Service: Mouse? And how it is related to printer?!!!
Caller: Mmmm.. Wait, I will send a picture.








Thursday, February 19, 2009

Poison love


A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide."

The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"

The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."

The pharmacist's eye got big and he exclaimed, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband. That's against the law! I'll lose my license!

They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!"

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.

The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well now, that's different. You didn't tell me you had a prescription."



Saturday, February 14, 2009

Thursday, February 12, 2009

How to open Ketchup Bottle

Husband V/S Wife

Husband and wife were in the midst of a violent quarrel,
and hubby was losing his temper.
"Be careful," he said to his wife. "You'll bring out the
beast in me."
"So what?" his wife shot back. "Who's afraid of a mouse?"

The judge asked the woman why she wanted a divorce, since there was no sign that the husband was cruel, or wandering, or any of the usual things that lead to this situation.
The woman replied that she was seeking the divorce on grounds of hobo sexuality. The judge, trying to stifle his laughter, asked, "Don't you mean homosexuality?"
"No!" she replied, "I mean hobo sexuality... he's a bum lay

Just for Laughs

ARAB MAN
An arab was being interviewed at a US checkpoint.
'Your name pls.'?
"Abdul Aziz "
"Sex? "
"Six times a week!! "
"No, no, I mean male or female! "
"Doesn't matters, sometimes even camel !"

SERVICE
Sex is like a restaurant.
Sometimes you get full satisfactory service, and
sometimes you have to be
satisfied with self-service"

HAPPY MAN
What makes a happy man?
Daughter on the cover of cosmo.
Son on the cover of sports illustrated.
Mistress on the cover of playboy
and .. Wife on the cover of "missing
persons"

SWIMSUIT
Why was the 2-piece swimsuit invented?
To separate the HAIRY section from the DAIRY
section.

GOOD AMBITION
Teacher: What do you want to become?
Little Johnny: Doctor !!
Teacher: Why?
Little Johnny: Coz its the only profession where u can tell a woman to take
off her clothes and ask her husband to pay for it.

DENTIST
Woman complaining to dentist: "It's so painful, I'll rather have a baby
than have a tooth removed."
Dentist: "Make up your mind soon, I'll adjust the chair accordingly."

VIRGIN
Old lady, 85, a virgin, about to die. wanted her
tombstone to read :
BORN A VIRGIN, LIVED A VIRGIN, DIED A VIRGIN.
The engraver shortened it to: " RETURNED UNOPENED "

OLD MAN AND YOUNG GIRL
75 yr old man got married to a 15 yr girl.
On their first night both were crying - why???
Coz she didn't know anything, and he had forgotten
everything.

Naughty's Place Humor is truly the best medicine

Two sisters had been given parts in a Christmas pageant at their Church.

At dinner that night, they got into an argument as to who had the most important role.

Finally the 12-year-old said to her 8-year-old younger sister, "Well,

you just ask Mom.

She'll tell you it's much harder to be a virgin than it is to be an angel!"



• A man met a beautiful lady and he decided he wanted to marry her right away. She protested, "But we don't know anything about each other." He replied, "That's all right; we'll learn about each other as we go along."

So she consented, and they were married and went on a honeymoon to a very nice resort.

One morning, they were lying by the pool when he got up off his towel, climbed up to the 10 meter board and did a two and a half tuck gainer, entering the water perfectly, almost without a ripple. This was followed by a three rotations in jackknife position before he again straightened out and cut the water like a knife. After a few more demonstrations, he came back and lay down on his towel.

She said, "That was incredible!" He said, "I used to be an Olympic diving champion. You see, I told you we'd learn more about ourselves as we went along."

So she got up, jumped in the pool and started doing laps. She was moving so fast that the froth from her pushing off at one end of the pool would hardly be gone before she was already touching the other end of the pool. She did laps in freestyle, breast stroke, even butterfly! After about thirty laps, completed in mere minutes, she climbed back out and lay down on her towel, barely breathing hard.

He said, "That was incredible! Were you an Olympic endurance swimmer?"

'No," she said, "I was a hooker in Kentucky and I worked both sides of the Ohio River.


• Lynda was driving down the highway about 75 miles an hour, when she noticed a motorcycle policeman following her.



Instead of slowing down, she picked up speed. When she looked back again, there were two motorcycles following her. She shot up to 90 miles.



The next time she looked around, there were three cops following her. Suddenly, she spotted a gas station looming ahead.

She screeched to a stop and ran into the ladies' room. Ten minutes later, she innocently walked out. The three cops were standing there waiting for her. Without batting an eye, she said coyly, "I'll bet none of you thought I would make it."

Naughty Humor Pictures




Sunday, February 8, 2009

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